It’s here

It’s here

IT’S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I’m as giddy as a school girl!

Edward! Jacob! who to chose.. who to chose! (right, like I didn’t chose a long long time ago)

Yes, yes I tried to hide my shame but once I came out,  there was no putting it back in.

Eclipse is by far my favorite book in the series. Yes, I loved Breaking Dawn, but Eclipse is just amazing! I am angry that they’ve switched out Rachelle Lefevre for Bryce Dallas Howard because Lefevre is just way more menacing looking, more ‘Victoria’, but other than that I am really looking forwand to the movie.

While “New Moon” was pretty good, it just wasn’t my favorite book or movie. I think that’s because I’m irrevocably Team Edward! So Eclipse, with more fighting, more humor, more Emmet, more Jasper and more Edward stands to be my favorite movie as well as my favorite book.

We’ll see when it opens in theaters on June 30.

Anecdotal evidence is never a game-changer unless the subject of the evidence is a great friend who has accomplished so many things in his life and has made the best out of a crappy hand life dealt him. Then, sometimes.. not always but sometimes.. that kind of evidence strikes the right cord in the right people and then change really does come.

I’ve tried to give you guys the examples of people I knew, in the hopes that you may have known people like them and/or could feel the desperation of their situation and maybe want to find a way to help them, but I failed in bringing the people I was targeting over to just the idea that change is needed, much less my idea of what that change should be. But maybe this time, with the example being someone we all know, we all respect and care for.. maybe this is the straw that breaks the camels back for some people and maybe some of those will go on to help fight for what is desperately needed in this country, instead of trying to kill any hope at all of a reprieve for those that are stuck in a situation they had no control over.

Even though he gave me permission, I  still thought about changing the name in this piece and just sticking to the story. I knew that even with omitting the name most of us would know who I was talking about with just one or 2 words about him so there was no need for him to be anything other than anonymous to the rest, but I don’t want him to  be just another blind example, I want you to say his name in your head when you are fighting against health care reform. When you look at the words of the President

But what we can do is make sure that at least some of the waste that exists in the system that’s not making anybody’s mom better, that is loading up on additional tests or additional drugs that the evidence shows is not necessarily going to improve care, that at least we can let doctors know and your mom know that, you know what? Maybe this isn’t going to help. Maybe you’re better off not having the surgery, but taking the painkiller.

I want the name Chuck Conners aka Uselesslegs in your thoughts when you blithely mock  this very real problem in our very broken system. I want Chuck’s story in the forefront of your brain, when you argue that we have the best care anywhere, that there is no such thing as that silly concept of doctors charging for a surgery when you only need a pill.. I want you to tell Chuck’s story to a friend or family member, and then explain to them why President OBama and the Democrats are just trying to kill this country and kill our ‘wonderful’ healthcare.

Before I continue, after Chuck told me his story and I started writing it I realized that this is the story for not having a public option, this is the reason why the government shouldn’t be in the medical insurance field. I know that there are blind loyalists  out there who will miss the point of this story and only latch on to the easy part of the problem, they’ll do this because they don’t have the intellect to see the big picture, they are the ‘death panelists’.. and ‘birthers’…the ideologue,  to them I will just nod and say “Yes Dear”.. I  was worried about writing this because the lack of brain mass some of these people have is more than made up by their vocal abilities and abhorrent behavior, but if I want to be true, if I want to be honest.. this type of story should never happen. It should not happen with private  or government run care. We need reform and anyone not seeing that, or not seeing that this is also a problem in the private sector needs to just go build another sign and leave the serious matters to the adults to figure out.

First a little back story for those that don’t know. Chuck has muscular dystrophy and it has progressed so over the past few years that he is completely dependent on a wheelchair to get around and someone to help him in and out of it. At 42, he’s already lived well past anyone’s guess…and he’s done so with a kind of dignity,humility and humor that I never knew existed. Chuck understands that people are uncomfortable with the disabled,  we don’t know how to act, where to look, what to say, so Chuck takes it upon himself to break that uncomfortable moment with a self deprecating joke or a well-rehearsed fart noise. My oldest daughter was one of the people he endeared himself to immediately with his ‘ice-breaking’. She knew of him and his disability, but she didn’t know of his humor..yet. When he called my house and she answered, she very innocently asked “How ya doing Chuck?”.. His reply was a simple scream “I”m in a wheelchair.. HOW DO YOU THINK I’M DOING!”. She immediately stared to cry because she thought she had done something to offend him, she was in the act of throwing the phone at me and spilling the story out when I couldn’t control my laughing any longer, I told her to listen to the phone, and there was Chuck laughing while at the same time trying to soothe her into knowing he was just kidding around with her. He hadn’t joked with her to be mean to her, but he knew, like all people in his or similar situations know, that us ‘normal’ people just don’t know how to react to them. He taught not only her, but my younger daughter, that it’s ok to look at someone in a wheelchair, or someone who is disabled, it’s ok to talk with them and be relaxed around them.. He taught them that it’s ok to treat them as normal and to laugh with and enjoy them just as they would anyone else. For that I say Thank you, because I didn’t learn this ease and comfort until I was much much older and Chuck was the one who taught it to me also.

But, the perfect example of Chuck and the way he looks at life is right there on the back of  his car, his registration tag, which simply reads…. “Gimpy”. The humor in that one word sums up the man that’s sitting the wheelchair inside that van.

When you hear Chucks life story, you can’t help but wonder what it would have been had he been physically ‘normal’, personally I don’t think he would have been as colorful, as funny.. and unique, what God took, he gave back in other ways.  The stories he can tell you about how his father scared him with a tarantula, how because of the ‘fear’ practical jokes his father would play on him, he ‘accidentally’ hit his father in the head with hammer to save his older brother, the teenage girl who peed on his couch when a stuffed squirrel was thrown at her, and my family’s favorite.. when his poncho got stuck in the wheels of his wheelchair and he was stuck going in circles until his companions could stop laughing long enough to extricate him.. These are the stories that make him who he is and had he not had a debilitating disease, I wonder if would he have had the same sense of humor?

At one time Chuck was THE Jerry’s Kid. His face graced many a magazine and poster. Not only was he part of the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon’s we all used to sit around and watch all weekend, but he was also the youngest Jaycee and was an honorary member of the VFW. He’s made the best of what was given to him, but even with all of the support he was given by all of these great and selfless people and an amazing organization, if it wasn’t for the Medicaid/Medicare program, he wouldn’t have lived past his early teens.  The Muscular Dystrophy Association helps with what they can, but they are not equipped to deal with it all.

For people like Chuck, the idea of a private insurance is laughable.. to them, the idea that a government run system would destroy what this country was built on, is an insanity. It’s because of medicaid/medicare that people like Chuck aren’t regulated to some orphanage or ditch out behind the woodshed. It’s Medicare/Medicaid that pays for his medicine, his doctors, his wheelchair. It was medicaid that came into his house recently and installed rails on his ceiling for a ‘body lift’ that can take him from his bed, to his toilet, to his bath. Until that day earlier this year when the rail was installed, Chuck  hasn’t had an actual “bath” in years. Showers and sponge baths, sure, but a tub bath? No.  He doesn’t measure life in grand increments, he’s never been able to, but to be able to finally sit down in a tub was a grand day for him.

It wasn’t until the other day that Chuck also found out just how horrible our system really is. Government run or not, he found himself in a pile of shit with no way out of it.   The sad part is that I’m not exaggerating or hyper-ventilating hyperbole..

Chuck’s mother moved in with him some years ago when it became apparent that he was going to start needing more intensive around the clock care. He’s been able to do for  himself for so many years, but his disease isn’t one that goes into remission or gets better over time, even the strongest or most lucky eventually fall victim to disappearing strength due the shrinking muscles. It’s because of his mother that he doesn’t need a daily visiting nurse, or God-forbid to live in an assisted living facility. It’s also in my opinion what has kept him going all these years, had she been like other parents who just couldn’t do it anymore and put him in a state run, or if by some stroke of luck, privately  funded assisted living care, disease and disregard would have killed him years ago. It’s not that these places would have necessarily treated him poorly,  but it’s just the nature of the beast that they zap  your will to live in small increments over time and then there is the spread of colds,flu’s and other disease that affects someone like Chuck so detrimentally and are so rampant in the close confines of these homes. Yes, it’s my belief that his mothers sacrifice all these years has lead to his longevity, not just in the extended  years of  his life, but in the life he has lived over the years. A nursing home would have curb his spirit, his joy, his imagination.. it would have killed what makes Chuck, Chuck.

A couple of weeks ago Chuck’s mom was struck by an acute illness that required emergency surgery, which required an extended hospital stay and a long convalescence at home. In other words, now she needed to be cared for and not only was Chuck unable to do this in return for her sacrifice all these years for him, but his physical capabilities have deteriorated so much that he was left wondering who was going to care for him.  He knew that his brother would come up and help him once, maybe twice a week, but he was also painfully aware that there were going to be times when he would be in need of assistance and no one would be there to help. I don’t mean in need of showers or baths, cooking food to eat, or help getting into bed. No, Chuck has learned to go without a bath or shower and use a washcloth, he’s learned to eat whatever is handy in his line of reach, and as for sleeping.. well he can just roll his chair up to the dining room table and rest his head on his arms and get a few winks that way.  Things we all take for granted, things that are the extreme of simple to us.. well, he’s found his way to enjoy also. No, the help I am talking about is our own basic body functions..  urination and defecation.  Chuck has found a way around those too, he just stops eating and drinking.  But even this is not perfection.

Because he knew that he was going to need just a few minutes help each week until his mother had recovered, he called his medicaid office to ask for a visiting nurse or nursing assistant to come out 30 minutes a week to help him. Before I go any farther I want you to think about that. Try for a minute to think if you could limit yourself to a bathroom break at a predestined time, once or maybe twice during a 7 day period.  Do you have that kind of control, do you think it would be easy on a Monday to just say to  yourself  “Ok, I can’t poop again until Thursday at 9am” .  Welcome to Chuck’s world.

When he made his request to the insurance office, he didn’t ask for someone to come out every other day and bathe him, or every day to help him  on the toilet. Like I said, those things he’s been able to curb by not eating or drinking. But even the best starvation doesn’t keep you from having to use the bathroom for an entire week and he knew that. So Chuck’s humble request was for someone to come out once a week and help him with that problem, the rest of the time he would ration his food and drink and ‘hold it’ until his brother could come up on the weekend. The medicaid representative  was very helpful, she understood what he needed and told him she had just the thing for him.. a 90 day stay in an assisted living facility. Now, besides this being a death sentence for someone in Chucks condition, it was an absurdity to him because he didn’t need that kind of help, he just needed someone to come out and help him in and out of his chair for a couple minutes a week. He explained this again to the woman on the phone, but as sympathetic as she was, she couldn’t give him a visiting nurse or CNA.. she could only give him a 90 stay at his local old-folks home. Chuck, understandable upset, refused and then started the process of limiting his food,water and ‘holding it’…. and he almost made it.

It had only been a few days, he’d gone longer in the past, but whether it was something he ate that didn’t agree with him or whether nature just had to take it’s course, he failed in his attempted to not soil himself. It wasn’t much, just a little bit of a bowel movement, but it was enough that he knew he was sitting in his own shit and worse than that, there was nothing he could do about it anytime soon. Even if his brother came up right then, he was an hour away and Chuck would be sitting there in his own mess the whole time, and that is exactly what happened.

I’ve noticed that even the most ’shy’ of us reach a point where it doesn’t matter who sees or smells what, we just need help and we need it right then. That’s the place were Chuck was, sitting in his own shit, waiting for his brother to come up and help wash him up. Help wash the area on Chuck off, was his clothes off and wash his chair off. What a humbling experience this must have been, it had to have the most humbling hour of his life. But it eventually came to the point where he didn’t care who came in and saw or smelled what… he just wanted help. He found out those moments waiting for his brother to come up and clean him, just what it meant that he was disabled. I’m know that through the years there had to be many other moments that came up and made him realize this fact, but I’m not sure that any humiliated him the way this time did.

The next day he again called and begged the insurance company for 1-30 minute visit a week so he could avoid a repeat of the day before, he was again denied. They would of course be happy to spend tens of thousands of dollars for him to unnecessarily stay in a 24 hr facility for 90 days, but no. .. they would not under any circumstances pay  $50-$75 a week for 5-6 weeks for a nurse to come to his home.

…and people say reform is not needed, that there is no waste in healthcare, that to cut any unnecessary procedures means a ‘rationing’ of care, that doctors don’t prescribe  that which is unnecessary over that which is needed in the name of greed and the all mighty dollar?

Chuck’s story has ended well, he finally got a hold of a worker who would listened to his sense that he didn’t need a 90 day,thousands of dollars treatment… he just need a 30 minute weekly visit. She set him up with not one, but 2 visits a week.

Whether it’s medicare,medicaid or private insurance.. reform is needed.  Had Chuck decided to take the medicaid office up on it’s offer, thousands of dollars would have been wasted when only a couple hundred were all that was needed. Those thousands could have gone to someone else care instead, someone who didn’t have insurance.. or 100 someone’s without insurance but in need of a flu shot this season. There are a million different ways that money could have been used properly, but because it is a Democrat asking for that reform, the psycho ‘right’ has an apoplectic  fit about him wanting to pull the plug on grandma, him wanting to stop seniors from getting hip-replacements and heart surgery or him wanting to kill of  the ‘damaged’ children of our society.

When a party says that the President who wants to talk to kids about the value of eduction and to stay in school is really trying to ‘indoctrinate’ them into a new version of ‘Hitler’s Youth’.. it’s time the adults stand up and tell these crazies to shut the fuck up already…the adults on both sides of the aisle. The sad part is the GOP’s lack of caring in all that is going on.  Some know that the fringe they are courting and allowing into the debate field are as bat-shit crazy as they come, but they know that they are also so desperate for an answer that if the Liberals are distracted enough by the insanity, they themselves will have time to actually come up with that answer. The crazies will eventually be throw out of the party,  the Conservatives aren’t that stupid, but until then the rest of will just sit in our chairs… not eating.. not drinking.. and praying that we don’t shit ourselves before our brother comes to rescue us from situation that we can’t just ‘pull our boot-straps up’ and get out of on our own.

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There is a great discussion going on on the muchedumbre forum..

“Fear here… I got fear here… 1 trillion dollars… get your fear…“

sorry, 900 billion… like any of us really know the difference…

So, is Obama simply repeating the mistakes of Bush II by selling important things to the American people with fear?

fear here, fear now.. we must stop it.

Well, we must stop it when it is President Obama doing the mongering, when it is a Democrat’s agenda, when it is an issue that 70% of the country’s population want.

We are being led to believe that the ‘fear’ the President it ‘mongering’ on the rise of insurance prices, the crippling effect that the uninsured have on the medical system, and the eventual crash of medicare/medicaid  is just fanciful and over-the-top unnecessary rhetoric. But this isn’t about the country, this isn’t about helping the 70% majority get what they are begging for,the Republican’s  only goal here is to stop Obama by ending his hope of healthcare for everyone. The idea behind  stopping the healthcare reform the President is asking for is that it will  bring his popularity down enough for Republicans to  hope for a chance to win a majority of congressional elections is 2010. This isn’t about you or me to the Republicans, this is about beating Obama and winning congressional seats. Just ask Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). He isn’t afraid to admit the Republican agenda.

“When you tell people that the mortality rate in Canada is 25% higher for breast cancer, 18% higher for prostate cancer, you know, they say why in the world would we emulate a system like that?”

Of course they are telling them a lie, because that is not the system we are trying to emulate.. but what good is a little truth when your goal is fear. Why bother with the truth when the  the mortality rate for mortality is 3% higher in the United States than Canada? Because then, you lose your argument all together.

This idea of pretending that our healthcare system would suffer or the bonus-cuts the poor and destitute health insurance CEO’s would have to endure are not the issue, is ridiculous. The issue is to do what it takes to win at all costs.

“I just hope the President keeps talking about it, keeps trying to rush it through. We can stall it. And that’s going to be a huge gain for those of us who want to turn this thing over in the 2010 election.”-Sen. James Inhofe

The majority of us who support a public plan and are willing to pay for it, are sadly not as important as those who donate millions to coffers of our elected officials both Democrat and Republican. Oddly enough, the ones taking the most money from Phamra and Big Insurance are the one blocking reform by calling for bi-partisanship. Which in this case means a bill so watered down and useless that it will do more harm than good. And yet to call them on this, to explain the immediate need for reform, to try and give a democracy what it’s demanding.. is to be out there ‘fear mongering’ and scaring the public and this just isn’t to be born!

We had to wire-tap our own citizens for fear that the terrorists were  making covert plans over the wires.

We had to torture  subjects who were captured for fear that they might  know something. In order to do that though, we had to change the wording of strict Geneva convention guidelines to change these POW’s into ‘enemy combatant’ for fear that the laws may protect them.

We had to detain  combatants  in secret holding facilities all over the world for fear that they would escape or worse, join together and become a ’super-terrorist cell’.

We could not try these combatants  in our own courts on our own soil for fear that they would  get off and be released into the population and begin collaborating with one another on another attack.

We could not house these combatants in our own maximum security prison system for fear that they may do what no one else has done, and escape.. or for fear that they would join in with the other extremely dangerous inmates housed with them and created new terrorists  networks.

We were even told to vote for the Republicans because they tried  to make us fear that they were the only one capable of keeping us safe in these uncertain times.

It’s telling that when these issue were brought up and the fear mongering was pointed at as an unnecessary tactic, he reply from the same people complaining about the supposed fear mongering President Obama is spreading, was

“So the Prez tells you stuff that you don’t like and don’t want to hear, and for his trouble of actually treating you like an adult and not sugar coating it, you call it “fear mongering.”

or

It’s legitimate and warrants some extra consideration.“

That’s almost as “fair” as the people deciding the fate of the health reform being recipients of millions of dollars from the insurance companies… but not quite.

The scary idea that some Republicans are trying to make into some kind of truth, that once this reform is enacted, our elderly will be put out to pasture, is some of the most ridiculous and preposterous yet to be voiced in this debate. In country where a doctor is criminally punished for aiding terminal patients with only hours to live in excruciating pain, it’s asinine to believe that we would all of a sudden kill off an entire segment of our population. But fear is what the Republicans peddle to get their way, even if their way goes against what 72% of the population and 50% of their constituents are asking for.

The scariest part of all.. is that we and the Democrats in Congress will let them get away with it.

The only thing there is to fear here is the money Republicans and some Democrats will lose from the Health sector if they don’t get out and pimp for them now.

Oh…and to the Republicans who complain that bureaucrats should not be involved in the decisions between a doctor and patient, first I ask, is the  17 year old high school student working after school and weekends at the insurance call center denying  the care your physician is asking for now, doing that job any better?.. and then I say to those crying a whoa is me over politicians not being a deciding factor in the doctor/patient conversation.. Thank You for joining the ‘Pro-choice’ movement, the ‘Pro-medicinal marijuana’ movement and the ‘pro-assisted suicide’ movement, can we count on your support in 2010?

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There are times when these people just make me want to scream and run at them with sharp objects.. and then there are times when they make me point and stare at them.  Now they have reached a whole new level… I believe the not so politically correct term from our youth is.. “Retarded”!

Since once again I am forced to re-visit this issue, I must post another past blog to help refresh you once again of my plight … So please.. I beg you to bear with me.

Last year I saw this news story

FDA Approves 1st Drug for Obese Dogs

and I wrote an blog about it.Since it bears on my current topic, here’s a recap.

__________________________________________

Proper Gander
a skewed view

I sit here today with my mouth open and my mind boggled. I’m stunned! No, I’m past stunned and entering into a whole new world of shock. I can’t believe what I have just read. What has me so flabbergasted you ask? I’m sure you’re thinking it must be Bush’s intention to increase the troop level in Iraq against the wishes of … Well, everyone. But no, there is something out there more staggering than that.

FDA Approves 1st Drug for Obese Dogs

WASHINGTON (AP) — Is your hound round? Too much flab on your Lab? Is your husky, well, husky? A new drug may provide some help.

The government approved the first drug for obese canines on Friday. Called Slentrol, the Pfizer Inc. drug is aimed at helping fat Fidos shed extra pounds.

“This is a welcome addition to animal therapies, because dog obesity appears to be increasing,” said Stephen Sundlof, director of the Center for Veterinary Medicine at the Food and Drug Administration.—-

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! This can’t be a headline on drudge, yahoo and cnn. We can’t really be so fucking lame, weight conscious and lazy that our scientists had to find a ‘doggie diet pill’ before finding a cure for something like….I don’t know… Cancer!

I love my dogs. I really do. The newest one, a fawn Chihuahua mix I got for my birthday has barely touched the ground since he came into my household. For Christmas I bought him a bright pink tutu to go with his leather studded collar. Cujo is the man in pink and leather! As much as I love him and Fatty, and as much as I spoil the shit out of them I will NEVER stoop to the craziness of diet pills!

Of course just by his name, you can tell one of my dogs might actually need them. Fatty is a cross between so many dogs that he looks like a lab/chow mix that’s had his legs chopped off at the knees. But he is the coolest dog I’ve ever had. He’s my ‘hippie’ dog. You’d think he was named for a blunt instead of a weight problem-HA~! but when he gets too ‘fatty’ I’ve learned a little trick that I am seriously considering patenting and selling online. Here’s what I do

1. Stop feeding him so much!

Fucking Genius I tell ya! Genius!

Come on people! it’s a DOG! It can’t eat unless you feed it! If it’s too damn fat then cut back on the food! I know we can’t cut back on the food ourselves, but Christ on a bike! Use some common frigging sense! Yes fat kids are a problem too but they make more noise than dogs do so we have to feed them Mc’Ds and KFC. Plus HRS gets all pissy when you only feed them once or twice a day. But the ASPCA is cool with you only giving Fido his one or 2 cups of food a day.

Stop the madness people! Let our scientist go back to real research on another dick pill. Tell Fido NO he can’t have another milkbone and get a ball and play ‘fetch’ with him! Hell you don’t even have to leave the couch for that because you just throw the ball and the dog brings it back to you!

I thought the Paul Mitchell shampoos and conditioners at my local “Hair Cuttery” was the most insane pet product I’d ever see. I’m sad to say I was wrong! Diet Pills for dogs! Fucking amazing! What kind of world are we leaving our children? Well besides a world with svelte dogs that have beautiful hair that is.

___________________

At that time I thought we couldn’t get anymore ‘weird’.. Plain and simple, diet pills for dogs is the reason they want to kill us.

I know, I know…It’s embarrassing to be associated with a species that is too weird to just stop feeding their dogs when they get fat.

It’s embarrassing to know all the other species are pointing and laughing at us.

Yes, this may be the reason they want to kill us. .. But I’ve always said  this isn’t the reason why we should let them. Sure we give our pets diet pills. Sure we can’t get enough news about a washed up pop princess and their random meltdowns. Sure we elected a buffoon  twice. But there is nothing out there reason enough to justify our extinction..

Hooo boy am I wrong about that. We’ve reached our summit. We can finally say “YES! we are too stupid to live! Please, put us out of our misery”

Are you ready..

…

Are you sure?

…

This will change your life…

Once you’ve read this you can never go back. You will always and forever know that we are… truly stupid. You will know that we should be wiped from existence before we infect the world anymore than we already have.

…

…

Suicidal pets get anti-depressants
PETS at risk of self-harm are increasingly being prescribed anti-depressants because they cannot discuss problems in their lives with others, a leading veterinarian says.

.

..

…
You see, there really is no hope for mankind…

_____________________________________________________________________

…and you thought we couldn’t get any stranger… you thought .. “Oh yeah, diet pills for fat dogs and prozac for  suicidal hamsters is where even God draws the evolutionary line!” My friend, you were wrong.  It’s OK, I was wrong also. I never thought we could get any farther down the food chain, I never thought we would finally deserve to be farther down the food change… Yes, Dear reader.. I was wrong too.

Before I show you I need to make sure that when our Alien Overlords(yes, that’s a real link) come to enslave us that they know that I am not one of these people. These are not my species, but another… crazier, uh… ‘touched’ if you will, species that evolved separately from my species. Enslave them and I, along with others of my kind will help you throw things at them in their cages.

Pegetables The ‘vegetable’ treat for your dog.

There are just too many issues with this to list them all. I mean, seriously.. vegetables, that look freakishly like real carrots, corn and celery for Dogs!? We couldn’t just give them real carrots for their eyes, real corn for their fur and real celery for their urinary tract could we.. ? No! I wonder why that is? Oh, I know  BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING MEAT-LOVING-EATING CARNIVORES! So instead, we’ll give them a pretend celery stick that’s made with MEAT!

Now, either some idiot read the ‘FDA approves diet pills for Fido” story and thought “Hey, they just need a healthier snack like celery!” (which by the way, could be forgivable..) OR, and this is what really scares me, what I really want our Alien Overlords to remember the whole’ separate species’ thing for.. Or, a vegetarian/vegan/weirdo non-meat eater wanted to make their pet,or make it look like their pet was also a ‘vegetarian/vegan/weirdo non-meat-eater so they could stay ‘pure’ to their belief.

I was raised on the belief of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I just wish I had been told their names were “Celery”,”Carrot”,”Corn” and “Mixed”.

I’ve been blogging for quite awhile now and I will eventually be bringing over some of my old stuff from it’s original home, to help you get to know me a little a better I will occasionally re-post some of the older stuff..

The one I’m re-posting today is something I think all of us have gone through many many…too damn many times. It’s enough to drive you crazy… enough to put you in a straitjacket even… a velvet one.. why velvet you ask?  Well, because insanity should be comfortable.

It won’t be over politics,religion… or Global warming

I don’t care what climatologists, political hacks or religious extremists say.. Our world will not come to

an end because of any of their woes. Our world will come to an end because of the goddamn automated phone system.

True story.

My convection/microwave oven stopped working. I took it to the manufacturers repair shop and 7 days later they called and said it was like brand new again. I brought the machine home, plugged it in and… it didn’t work. Ok, if that was end of the story it would be enough to make someone in the tension-filled climate we live go a little whack-o-nut, but no… that’s not the end.

I took the machine back to the prominent repair company and said “Um, yeah… it’s still broken.” The nice gentleman asked “What seems to be the problem?” My reply,  “The same thing that was the problem when I brought it down to you last week, that  you were to have fixed and sent it home ‘as good as new’ yesterday”. He looked confused, I don’t know why he would have been confused unless he had a memory like a child or a dog because he had just seen me 20 hrs earlier and explained to me everything they had fixed. One would think he would remember what was wrong. But whatever, I explained once again my problem.

Fast-forward 8 days. Now, if you have ever had to live without a microwave for any amount of time you already know how  problematic  that can be.

“Hey honey, I’m just going to re-heat some leftovers for dinner because it’s been a super crazy day”…

and then WHAM! No fucking microwave. So why bother with leftovers since you have to get out all  the pots and pans to reheat something. As if that wasn’t enough, try re-heating your coffee, making the kids a quick after school snack, rapid-thawing out the pork loin you forgot to take out that morning. Yes, not having a microwave is more difficult than not having indoor plumbing. Because a bucket and some air freshener can work in a pinch, but nothing replaces that good ole instant radiation-zapped mac and cheese.

So, tensions are already at a strained level when  I listen to the message on my machine.

“Hello, this the very well known repair center, please call us about your microwave/convection oven that we have now had for a total of 20 days and tell us what is wrong with it so we can fix it, thank you and have a good day

Seems simple enough, let’s get out the phone book and call them right back. hmmmm, an (800) number, well that shouldn’t be too difficult I’ll just ask for the local shop’s number.

ring-ring

“Hello and thank you for calling…para el español, marque nueve”

and now, the fun begins.

“If you are calling about a service appointment you scheduled, please press One”

nope, not calling for that

“If you are calling to schedule a service appointment, please press Two”

nope, not calling for that

“If you are calling to find a local repair center, please press Three”

Image via Wikipedia

hmmm, well maybe that’s it but lets listen to the other options

“If you are calling about anything else, please say ‘Other’”

uhh.. well ok maybe I do need 3….. ‘beep’

“Please wait while I  transfer you”

hmmm.hmmm.hmmmmmmmm

“Please say your telephone number starting with the area code”

… 321-555-5555

“Thank you, You said 374-995-5959, is this correct?”

uh, no

“I’m sorry, please say your telephone number starting with the area code”

321-555-5555!

“Thank you, you said 965-555-9999, is this correct?”

NO!

“I’m sorry, please enter your phone number using the key pad”

stupidfuckingtelephonewhoreshouldhaveletmedothatinthefirstplace

“Thank you, please press 1 for the address to the nearest repair center”

grrrrrr

“The nearest center is located at 301 driving you nuts road, because I can, 32935. If this is it, you may hang up now”

motherf..bitchwhore.. I need the phone number, I need a person and NO this is not all!

“If you would like to return to the previous menu, please press 0″

arrrggggggggg..beep

(repeats original options}

No, NO I don’t want any of those…

“If you would like assistance, please say Help’

Help

“If you would like to repeat any..”

Help!

“..please press 9″

HELP ! HELP !HELP ! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPP
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

enter husband carrying a hammer, “What the hell? I thought you were getting raped or something”

“Shut up! I can’t hear what this bitch is saying”

“What do you mean shut up? You’re the one screaming and I just came in here because you’re screaming your everlovin’ head off for Help”

“I swear to Christ if you don’t shut the hell up.. .I’m going to stab you!!”

“Thank you and have a goodbye”

“Sweet Jumping Jesus…Do you see what you did? Now I have to call that crazy bitch back and go through that insanity all over again because you want to come in here and talk?

“You’re nuts you know that? Next time you’re being attacked don’t call me unless you want me to make popcorn so I can watch!”

“You can’t make popcorn because we don’t have a GODDAMN MICROWAVE!”

“HA! Ever hear of Jiffy-pop, Ms. know-it-all? “

“Take my advice.. sleep with your eyes open tonight and have the kids ‘test’ your food for you!”

“Oh yeah! Back at you baby!”

slams door!

“asshole!”

dialing….. ringing.

“Hello and thank you for calling…para el español, marque nueve”

yes yes.. hurry up…

“…Press Two”

fine two whatever.. just for the love of GOD give me a human to speak to!

“What kind of appliance are you calling about?”

Oh dear God… A microwave

“A Microwave, good let me transfer you to the small appliance center”

ahhhhhhhhhh…..yes. Yes YES!!!

“Hello, this is Bob can I help you?”

“Oh Bob.. Bobby.. Robert, yes you can help me. I took my microwave/convection oven down to my local repair center to get it worked on and they called me to ask what the exact problem was and I’m trying to call them to let them know but I don’t have a local number I only have the (800) number, do you have the local number”

“Let me check….”

waiting.. hear typing..waiting…

“What’s your phone number”

321-555-5555

“Ok… Yep got it right here.. 407-555-1212″

“Um wait, 407 that’s Orlando.. I’m Melbourne, you don’t have the number to the local repair center, I have the address if you need it”

“Sorry, let me look again…. Yeah, no I don’t have that number but let me transfer you to the automated system and it will help you out”

“wait!.. WHAT?”

“Hello and thank you for calling…para el español, marque nueve”

Image by oddsock via Flickr

Oh My…

“Hey Mom, how can I heat up this left over chicken?”

Lord, please forgive me for what I am about to do to those around me.

President Obama, you were not given the Oval office and the Congress solely for the purpose of trying to appease or make friends with the party that shut out an entire political section of the country for 8 years. It’s time to start acting like the majority elected you to act.

Yes we can!

You were elected and given the keys to your success because you promised us change during your campaign. You were given a friendly congress because we knew the losing party would do everything in their power to discredit and demonize you. To prevent the loss of any political capital, you were given massive support, money, votes and Congress… so what are you waiting for? Use the tools you’ve been given already! You have tried and failed at extending your hand across the aisle and now it is time to give them the finger. This failure, like the disastrous condition of every aspect of the government, foreign and domestic, is not your fault. You were given a ‘Handy-man’s special’ and while you’ve made some improvement just by being there, you have a long way to go before this country is back up to ‘code’

Mr. Obama, you expected to come into Washington and work with adults, only to find nothing but spoiled children running through the aisles.  Every day you spend trying to bring your opponents into your circle, they are spending theirs  eating your political capital  like a fat girl eating chocolate flavored bacon-bits.

Change you can believe in!

Had the Holocaust Museum shooter been Muslim, your presidency would have been over. You would have not only been the country’s 1st black president, but after weeks of allowing Dick Cheney to call you every form of dangerous and venting about  your lack in the ability to keep us safe, you would have become the country’s fastest Lame Duck President ever.You have let this kind of abuse go on for too long and now you are seeing a drop in your poll numbers.

I understand your strategy of letting them become the party of “NO”. I understand that the more ‘right’ they go the more ‘centered’  you look and the more Independent voters you pick up.  But what I don’t understand is this need for all ‘political correctness’( so to speak) in the face of such outrageousness.

“It may include groups and individuals

that are dedicated to a single-issue,

such as opposition to abortion or immigration,”

the warning says.”

A few weeks ago your Head of Homeland Security had to  apologize for a report that said ‘right-wing extremists’ were on the rise and their chatter was reaching higher levels.   The GOP went apoplectic in its anger over such extreme “Liberal MSM-type” spin and accusations. Even some Democrats screamed about being ‘dumbfounded’ by this report. Michael Steele of the R.N.C told Fox news

“This is the height of insult here,I mean to segment out Americans who dissent from this administration, to segment out conservatives in this country who have a different philosophy or view from this administration, and labeling them as terrorists and then to call into question the service of the men and women who are right now standing on that wall defending our freedom and linking them to terrorism while you refuse to call the terrorists — the real terrorists — terrorists, to me it’s the height of insult.”

In the height of irony, not “insults” as Mr. Steele put it, this report that the GOP went into seizures over, warned  that

The Department of Homeland Security is warning law enforcement officials about a rise in “rightwing extremist activity,” saying the economic recession, the election of America’s first black president and the return of a few disgruntled war veterans could swell the ranks of white-power militias.

A footnote attached to the report by the Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis defines “rightwing extremism in the United States” as including not just racist or hate groups, but also groups that reject federal authority in favor of state or local authority

Since that report and the GOP’s temper tantrum over it, we’ve seen not one, but  two atrocious acts that we were warned about. While the party of “NO” has a record in ignoring threats and warnings when given to them,  that doesn’t mean you, Mr. President, should have your people apologize to them for being right.

Doctor Tiller was murdered in a sanctuary, his place of worship by exactly the person the report warned against. A week later, James Von Brunn, who was a Navy officer during World War II and after leaving his notebook with a list of places he planned to hit and a statement saying “You want my weapons – this is how you’ll get them. The Holocaust is a lie. Obama was created by Jews,” decided to shoot anyone in his way.

I know saying “We told you so” is not the politically savy thing to do, but had Mr. Brunn been of Arab decent, how fast do  you think Dick Cheney would have been on Fox news saying exactly that?

Misters Brunn and Roeder, Dr. Tiller’s murderer, are not the first extremists to meltdown since you took took office. As I’ve blogged about before, another unstable radical believed in the same insane,violent and dangerous rhetoric of the Right when they said you were going take  away his guns. So he went out and murdered 3 police officers.

“Friends said 23 year-old Richard Poplawski feared the Obama administration was poised to ban guns.”

Mr. President, it’s time to put an end to this trying to reach across the aisle.  As PAUL KRUGMAN of the New York times says; There is an ‘upsurge of right-wing extremism’ that is being “fed by the conservative media and political establishment.” Your ideal world in which Republican and Democrats can live in harmony is a wishful Utopia that will not exist until a generation has passed from the extreme partisanship the Bush Administration spread throughout this country.

There are some of course, like Shep Smith on the FNC channel, who see this hate and are fearful of the level in which it is being amped up to.

But just as fast as he can bring attention to this hate and anger, others paint over it by saying Smith is ‘”whining and moaning and complaining about emails”, while making it about themself and in then  justifing  the hate they and others  spread throughout this country. You cannot reach out to these types of people. Their motives are clear, with blood on their hands from their ‘hate speech’ they only speak louder,harder, angrier. They put their hands up and say “Wasn’t me” like they haven’t been the one rattling the cages of most extreme of their extremists. They are spoiled and dangerous children who cannot be appeased by rational thought and/or actions. These are not the moderate GOP persons you want in your circle. Even those people see what is being done and are appalled by it, but they cannot stop it because they understand this ‘hate’ will spread to them next.

“If I had to choose in terms of being a Republican,

I’d go with Rush Limbaugh.

I admire your tenacity in continuously  trying  to bridge the partisan gap in the face of such mounting and dangerous rhetoric, but there comes a time when it’s OK to use the popularity you’ve been given. You promised change, you have been given all the tools necessary to bring about this change, you do not need 100% cooperation when 51% wins the race. We who you convinced to  stand behind you, who believed in you and voted for you are still standing here waiting to support you. We are waiting for you to remember what you promised us…. Yes we can Mr. President… Yes we can.

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